I'm still here!

It's been a while - and that's quite a euphimism. Life was too hectic and demanding and exciting and crazy to even consider things twice, much less blog about them.

But now I have some time, and some thoughts I'd like to share.

First of all, I thought about quitting this blog. It's no use having one if you don't update it regularly, and if you cannot read and comment on the adventures of your friends on the blogosphere. You have to be there, you have to make time for it. And gradually, it becomes an obsession, or at least one more thing to do, unless you want to feel guilty all the time.

We have so many obligations in our everyday lives. We have to be effective and productive at our jobs, loving and caring for our families, responsible with our hosehold chores, considerate with our neighbours. There are things that need to be done - yesterday, if possible. Important stuff but also trivial ones, that tend to bug as all the time and fill us with guilt about neglecting them.

Having responsibilities is good. It means you have a life for yourself and gets you going. But being buried under a great pile of "to do-s" and not enjoying the ride is a crime. It only means that you're wasting your time doing nothing but worrying.

I started this blog because I love writing. It has always helped me clear my mind and relax. Truthfully, obsessing about my posts, my comments and my followers does not relax me one bit. However, the answer is not to stop writing, but to stop worrying. As a result, I won't be quitting the blog - I will be quitting the need to be there more than I really want to. I will be quitting the guilt.

Secondly, I thought about creating another blog, a new one. I am a totally different person now than the one I was last year. My life and "hers" look nothing alike. Don't get me wrong, I haven't fugured out as much stuff as I would want to, I am still goofy and make wonderful mistakes. You can only change so much about yourself, you know. But at least now I act, rather than agonize about making a move. I walk and fall, rather than sit and wait for things to happen. Of course, it is now statistically much more easier to make mistakes, but also do things the right way.

So, a new blog for a new girl? Nah, it's no use. Because the girl is basically the same inside. Only a little stronger and more mature, but still sillly, clumsy and so soft that cries with baby food commercials. After all, this year's experiences wouldn't have happened, it it weren't for the last year's ones. Change is impossible, unless there is actually something to change. As a result, I am sticking to the same old blog.

But enough with the serious and cliche "words of wisdom". What about some things from my everyday life?

I am still at the village, of course. It's been 4 and a half months now, and I have as much time to go. I got used to my life here, and now know what I am capable of, and what I am not. I am better aware of whether I can fight or I should quit in each case.

The island is beautiful, even though it loses a great part of its charm if you take the sea and the beaches out. I still have my summer friends, and some new ones. My driving has improved, my binge eating has not. Oh, well...

It was my birthday 3 days ago - I turned 25. 25 had always seemed such an important age when I was younger. I had always thought that, by that time, I would have created the life I had always wanted. I would be succesful and happy, with a great job, a great family, great looks and great hobbies.

This is all cr@o, of course. Not only because it is impossible. Life is too complicated to sort it out that easily. After all, if you have everything at 25, what's the point in living for at least another half of a century? But mainly because, when you blow your candles at 25, you realise that the life you had dreamt of at 12, 18 or 20 does not resemble the life you want now one bit.

Things change, people change, we ourselves change. Sometimes it is painful, but generally it is okay. Even if a certain situation appears to be worse after that, change itself makes it possible to turn things over again - and again - and again.

My Christmas was ok. For the first time ever, I worked through Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and the day after, but it was okay. I was able to take a week off after that, and by Day 3 I was bored and wanted to get back! Yeah, I am a freak, but you knew that already.

Oh, one more thing I forgot to tell you. I kinda sort of fell in love...

WHAT? Well, yes, it happened when I least expected it - as always. I am at a really good place right now, more relaxed and happy (in fact so calm that my parents suspected I did drugs when they saw me during the holidays, or that I became a part of some weird paganistic clan!). No, it is all natural, and I will write more on a future post.

Until then, I will enjoy myself, and I advise you to do the same. Laugh, go out, dance, have some drinks, read a great book, watch an amazing movie, make love or take a long walk, whatever YOU want really. As long as you have fun. See ya!

Look who's here!

Hey, remember me?

...

You do, don't you?

Well, if I seem even remotely familiar, it's me, Gracey. The crazy Greek girl who is trying to become a doctor, a cook, a friend and a normal person in general - and not always with success.

The Internet gods temporarily managed to keep me away, but ha ha ha! (insert satanic laughter here) I'm baaaaack! All set with a brand new wifi at home, and full of stories. Interesting stories (mostly), funny ones or thought-provoking. But they are my own stories, they're all true, and I wanna share them with you.

So if you're out there, and you are so weird that you wanna hear more from me, just say the word.

If you can't figure out who the hell I am and what I am talking about, you can ignore me or get to know me better through my posts.

Oh, and one last thing:

I missed you, guys. Each and every one of you. A LOT.

A quick update...

This time my absence was completely unavoidable. My first week of working at the village has ended, and it has been frightening, chaotic and hard! Having to be the one that MAKES the decisions for the patients' treatment, rather than the one who simply observes things happening, is really terrifying and it requires a lot of guts... and responsibility... and knowledge... and empathy... and I am working on all four.

I don`t know when I`ll be able to post again, since there is no internet connection at the village and I am on call almost every day (meaning I can`t leave and go to Mytilene, of course!) so it may be a while. Nevertheless, I will be thinking of all of you, and I´ll keep stalking and commenting on your news and life adventures, as soon as the Internet gods give me the chance.

By the way, I am now in Germany for the weekend, and having a lot of fun! :) But more news in the future! Take care and enjoy yourselves as much as possible!

My timeline

My blog friend Willoughby had this amazing idea for a blog post the other day, regarding a past and future timeline. Many followed her example, and now it is my turn to do so.

29th August, 2009 - 24 years old: I am in Mytilene, having finished the trimester of training as an agricultural doctor. Today I finally found a place to stay (yay!), and I am anxious about Monday, the first day to start working on my own, with real patients to treat. My summer has been amazing, having done a lot of fun stuff and having met many interesting people. I am a little worried about next week, when I'll fly to Germany to visit Ernesto. I wonder how I will feel after seeing him, and what his own reaction will be...

29th August, 2008 - 23 years old: I really should have been preparing myself for the final 2 exams I need to take, in order to graduate in September, but I haven't. I am bored sick, and thinking only of vacation. Ernesto and I had an amazing time on our trip to Berlin, but now I am back in Heraklion, feeling miserable and nervous. I don't know which specialty to choose, and I really don't want to go to Germany to start a residency, as Ernesto suggests. I really, trully, don't want to do it. My mother moves to Germany, to work as a teacher there, and my father anxiously awaits his papers to come, in order to join her with my younger brother. It turns out that they will spend 3 months apart, which will be a painful process for all of us.

29th August, 2007 - 22 years old: I am really excited - Ernesto and I will be moving to Prague for 4 months, for an ERASMUS scholarship! We'll have a great time there, and we'll manage to visit many European cities. Our vacation to Barcelona has been traumatic (I was robbed for the first time) but 'colourful' and fun as well. I am also planning our wedding for next year, which will not take place in the end. I don't know it yet, but his parents will break my heart when asking him to not marry me and break up with me. Nevertheless, we will stay together. Also, I will decide not to take the Radiology exam in September, which will be a terrible mistake, and will lead me to graduate 3 months later than expected. This year my grandmother will follow my grandfather to Heaven (or wherever it is that we go after) and oddly, her going exactly one year after him, will seem to make perfect sense.

29th August, 2006 - 21 years old: I am now in Norway, on a HELMSIC scholarship, working as a Pathologist. It is the first month I am spending away from Ernesto since we got together, but oddly, I am enjoying myself. The working conditions here are amazing, and I am experiencing a non-stress working environment for the first time in my life. I am meeting a lot of interesting people, of different nationalities, and doing many stuff I'd never thought I would do (like climbing on a glacier, or swimming when the water temperature is 4 degrees C!) This is the last year my grandfather will be spending with us, and I will not get to see him before he goes, which will result in me suffering from guilt for the years to come.

29th August, 2003 - 18 years old: This is the first summer Ernesto and I will spend together as a couple. We will have a crappy weekend vacation in Chania, but it won't bother us much. We have Phoebs in our home for a month now, and she is naughtier than ever. Eventually, she will calm down and be the perfect dog, but she will chew on many shoes, flip flops, sheets, towels and even cables, until she gets there! Ernesto thinks that she will be a temporary guest in our apartment, but she will end up being with me longer than he himself will! My parents are moving back to Trikala, but I am not surprised.

29th August, 2002 - 17 years old: I have just found out that I will not be studying Greek literature in Athens, which I originally had applied for, but Medicine in Crete! This is a great surprise, and I am worried sick! I don't want to go there - it seems too far away, and I am not sure I even want to study Medicine! Meanwhile, my parents are moving to Athens, after living in Trikala for 10 years. In about a month, I will meet Ernesto, and I will fall in love with him.

29th August, 2001 - 16 years old: I have just finished the first set of exams for the university (2 years total) and my grades are outstanding. Our family vacations in Naxos have been amazing, as always - but I discovered something shocking: I am not eligible to apply for a translator/guide/ambassador place at the University of Corfu, as I had aspired! What will I do now? Nothing else seems to interest me, and I will definitely not apply for Greek literature, like my parents! Maybe choosing the "theoretical" branch of studies was not so clever, after all... If I had chosen differently, I could even have applied for Medicine. Medicine! How cool would that be?

29th August, 2000 - 15 years old: I am preparing for the final 2 years of high school, which will end up in two sets of exams. I have chosen the "theoretical" branch of studies, partly because I think I hate Math (I end up loving it), and partly because I want my father to teach me at home, rather than spending half of my day at private tuition. I want to be an interpreter/guide/ambassador, after studying at the University of Corfu. My social life is suffering hard, but at least I have my best friend to rely on. I don't know it yet, but once high school ends, our friendship will end too, and on the worst terms possible.

29th August, 1999 - 14 years old: This has been a most tiring year. After finishing top of my class, while getting 2 degrees in English and 1 in Italian and playing at a piano recital, I feel exhausted. I just wanna have a little fun instead. I decide not to take up so many things next year, and I end up being a TV addict and gaining 10 lbs! This is the last summer I will be spending with my 2 best friends from high school.

29th August, 1993 - 8 years old: We are moving away from Crete and going back to Trikala, and I am devastated! I don't want to go again - and I will miss all of my new friends. On February I will have a little brother, Alex - and he will be a major pain in the @ss, but I will love him like crazy too.

29th August, 1992 - 7 years old: We are leaving Trikala, to go to Crete! I don't want to go - I feel sick of moving all the time. I desperately ask for a pet, but all I get is a snail! My sister gives me chicken pox on the day that I am supposed to go to a dress up party, and I secretely fantacize murdering her as a revenge! LOL

29th August, 1991 - 6 years old: After spending 3 years in Athens, we are moving to Trikala. It will be fun to know my father's side of the family a little better. My grandparents are weird, and speak a dialect I don't understand, but they seem to be nice people and give me and my little sister sweets all the time. This year I realise I love my sister after all. We play a lot out in the open, and do all sorts of nasty things!

29th August, 1988 - 3 years old: We are now living in Athens. I miss Crete a lot. My little sister is nearly a month old. I am crazy jealous of her, and I can't understand why we need her at all! She is obnoxious, she has no teeth, she cries all the time and my parents seem to be spending all of their time with her and not me! This is the first year I go to kindergarten. Or I am supposed to go, at least. Because, for some weird reason, I contract every disease there is out there, and spend every single day in bed with a fever! Finally, I am having my tonsils removed and things seem to go a little better. And by the way, eating ice cream with a sore throat after the operation is NO fun at all! This is actually the first time ever someone forces me to eat ice cream, and I refuse!

29th August, 1986 - 2 years old: We move to Chania with my parents, and I enjoy myself immensely. Next year I will learn how to read, and I will discover a new, magical world. I love watching cartoons with my dad, going to the zoo and eating all sorts of weird stuff (like lambs' brains, oysters and intestines soup). My mother claims I am the most outgoing baby on Earth. One day, she is shocked to find out that I creep out of the apartment after my dad goes to sleep, visit the local bookstore and pick new books (of course I don't pay for them, because I don't even know what money is!). After that, the whole neighbourhood is on "baby watch" - they keep an eye on me for my safety, but without me ever knowing about it. I still wander about casually, and discover interesting things day by day.

29th August, 1985 - a few months old: My parents graduate from the university of Rethymnon. My first months of life have been extraordinary, with students taking turns into babysitting me, and my mom feeding me while attending political gatherings. I get used to being around many people, and enjoy being in the centre of attention.

29th August, 1984: My mom is 4 months pregnant with me. I don't know why, but they decided to keep me, even though both my parents are students. Also, 4 days ago, they got married. They will regret this in the end (the marriage process itself, not them being together), but at least they won't regret keeping me. I am still only a tiny mass in my mom's uterus, but I am grateful.

So that's it, guys! I hope you enjoyed my timeline - I sure did! I will come back with my future timeline as well at some point.

Some bad news

My not having posted for a while now is no news, nor something that needs an elaborate explanation: It was simply a result of enjoying the last days of the summer, and also the last days of the best trimester of my life so far.

As I have explained before, I will be working as an agricultural doctor in Lesvos for a whole year. The first 3 months are spent in Mytilene, where each one of us is trained at the hospital here. After this educational trimester ends, we are to move to our village of choice (the one we applied for 6 months ago) and actually start working.

I guess that my everyday life at the village will be interesting, challenging, funny and with a few surprises. I promise to share my experiences, good and bad, along the way. But until Monday 31st, my first day at work as a "real" doctor, I am still a trainee.

A trainee not being trained, actually - but this is for another future post. But as a result of the flexible hours and the everything-but-intensive schedule, I have lots of free time. Free time to make friends, swim, sunbathe, watch interesting movies (or cr@ppy ones - it doesn't matter, as long as you have good company!), play board games, enjoy long drives in my car (and occasionally create a new bump or two), drink yummy cocktails and gain 100 pounds by enjoying the local cuisine! In short, free time to have fun.

Somewhere along the way, I feel the annoying presence of guilt for not studying, and not being 100% dedicated to my job. But you know what? In my 24 years of life, I can't remember myself having much fun. It was always a race, a competition - I had to give my best, I had to be the best. And after going through the incredibly painful process of Greek exams, upon entering Med school, I discovered that I had been cheated - where was all the "fun" I was promised, right after the exam torment had ended? Not only things were not "fun", they were even harder then! In fact, I had to study more than ever before!

And I did. And I will, until the very last day of my life. Because Medicine requires true dedication, and it is a science that always evolves. There are no givens, and no golden rules. Everything we take for granted now, may change tomorrow. So we must always be up-to-date.

So, for the last 3 months, I decided to tell my guilt to shut it and go away. It was one of my very few opportunities to have fun, and I promised myself to take it. And I did. And it was amazing!

But today, I feel awful. I know, it is ok to be a little sorry that the trimester is ending, and also a little (or a lot!) terrified that starting Monday, I will be responsible for real, flesh and bones, people.

However, the reason for my bad mood is a bit more practical. There is a problem with my accomodation at the village. I was going to rent an appartment there for 9 months, and started looking for one with my colleague, a while back (we agreed to not stay together, for various reasons, so we had to find one for each). There had to be good heating, because the village is on the top of a mountain and it is cold in the winter, and since it was for 9 months only, it would be better if they were already furnished (because after 18395 moves, dragging my furniture across the other end of Greece was not an option).

We searched a lot, and found only 2 suitable places. My colleague and I liked the same one, but I decided it was just not worth fighting for, so I went for the other. She herself closed the deal with hers, and today I phoned the owner of "mine", in order to agree on some last details.

But guess what? The owner decided that she won't accept me, because I have a dog! I was furious! Don't get me wrong, it is TOTALLY her right not to want pets at her property. However, we had talked about this TWICE before, and she had said there was no problem whatsoever! Not only did she not need convincing, but she seemed more than ok with Phoebs.

And today, 4 days before my move and while we had unofficially agreed and I had stopped searching for something else, she decided against us! I did not see that coming - and I am wondering what to do now.

I asked again, and there are no other accomodation options at the village that suit my needs. So, my only 2 options are: 1) Rent an unfurnished appartment and spend a small fortune (which I lack at the moment) equipping it for a stay of just 9 months - not to add the need to transfer every single piece in my tiny car, because having the shop move it is not possible, or 2) Rent an appartment in Mytilene, and go back and forth every single day, driving in potentially dangerous roads, with snow and ice in the winter (not to mention also spending a small fortune on gas).

I am really frustrated right now, and feel that I am out of time. Also, next weekend I will be off to Germany (I'll share the details in another post) and will have no time to deal with all this, so the pressure of finding a solution fast is overwhelming.

I know it's not possible to help me from so far away (and I am sure that, not knowing the specific details of the accomodation process, it all sounds Greek to you! LOL) but you can at least send me your good vibes and wishes for a viable solution. Or you can try voodoo on the owner for being so inconsistent and untrustworthy. Whichever suits you best...

Late as always

It definitely took me a while, but I haven't forgotten. My blog friends, LB from Muddy Runner, PurpleHoodieChick, Tatoos and Teething Rings, Chicago Mom from What's for Dinner? and 5th sister gave me the Kreativ Blogger award. Thank you very much, guys - you rock!

Oh, of course their blogs rock too, so be sure to check them out!

If you want to participate in this too, the rules are:

1. Thank the person who nominated you for this award (and post a link)

2. Copy the logo and place it on your blog

3. Nominate 7 kreativ bloggers (and post links to their blogs)

4. Leave a comment on each of the blogs letting them know they have been nominated

5. Name 7 things about yourself that people might find interesting

Well, I am probably the last one to respond to this, (as always) and most of my blog buddies have already gotten this award, so I will nominate some new, interesting bloggers I discovered. I love following them, reading their posts and responding to them (ie I am an obsessive "stalker" as Kristina puts it), and I am eagerly waiting for more!

So, the 7 kreativ bloggers are:

1. Fiona from Living in the land of chocolate. I love reading about her adventures in Switzerland, and her precious moments with her 2 little girls.

2. Patti from PiNG's Danish Adventures. Whenever I am feeling blue and overwhelmed, I think of Patti, her amazing attitude and her great sense of humour, and feel better in an instant!

3. Extranjera from What will I ever do with my life? She has a wicked sense of humour and her posts are never too long or too tiring for me. I could literally wander in her blog for hours - and I bet I will finish her first book in less than 55 minutes!

4. Jen from Buried with children. Being a mother of triplets is anything but easy. Especially when

you add in a toddler too. Nevertheless, Jen manages to give a realistic, honest, and most importantly, FUN glimpse of motherhood, combining love and affection with commando skills.

5. Bebe from Those Crazy Beans for her writing talent and wittiness. Seriously, whenever I read her eloquent posts, I think to myself "Brilliant! Why didn't I think of that?"

6. Karen from A peek at Karen's blog. She succesfully juggles broad-spectrum blogging with real-life multitasking. Whenever something new happens, I am certain she will write at least one post about it.

7. And the latest addition to my Blogroll, Angela from I'm So Not Ready For This. She must be the less pretentious mama out there. Her life is not a fairy tale, but an adventure and a challenge. And she makes it happen, every single day.

Congratulations, people, and keep posting!

As for the 7 things about myself:

1) I have lived in 8 different towns in the past. As a result, the thought of moving a lot doesn't terrify me. In fact, I tend to get bored rather easily and, whenever an opportunity comes along, I am the first to grab a suitcase and just go. I'd love to settle down somewhere eventually, but I feel it's too early for that right now.

(I am thinking of some "Germany" posts of mine suggesting otherwise, but I have now come to the conclusion that back then, the moving itself was not the thing that terrified me. Everything else was.)

2) I am a terrible driver. Not the speeding/reckless type, but more of the I-cannot-park-my-car-for-the-life-of-me type. I have no dimensions perception, and realising how much space is really available for me to park in is a pain in the maximus gluteus for me. Add to that the fact that I live in the city center, where parking space is an urban legend, and you can easily guess how many bumps my car has. Ouch! And yes, it's brand new. Double ouch!

3) I bite my nails like crazy. I know, I have told you before. But as a New Year's resolution, I gave up biting my fingernails. So, you can imagine where I have turned to now. Yes, I am a weirdo.

4) I have never gotten in a fight with my eyebrows. I don't use the little thingy to pull them off, I don't use a liner on them, nothing. I just let them be. Fortunately, they seem rather normal (or so people tell me).

5) I despise shoes (it gets weirder and weirder, right?) I understand that they are the most precious accessory for women, but honestly, if it was safe to walk barefoot all day, I most definitely would.

6) Smell is my strongest sense. Every memory I have is associated with a particular smell. Also, I can spend hours in a perfume shop, trying everything, without getting hazy.

7) I have a really high "disgust" threshold. That's why I always won the "Taste it if you dare" challenge as a kid. Oh, and I think you can guess who sat on the front row at the Anatomy lessons at Medical school. Non blinking, hoping to be the first one to hold the scalpel.

That was all, folks - and I hope all this quirky info was not too much for you. And yet, my sister wonders why I find even diaper commercials moving - they make me cry like a baby. Well, I guess every person is a mix of different things, good and bad, sweet and disgusting, funny and unpleasant. All these make us "us". Unique, fascinating and intriguing.

I dare you to come back.

A decision I am sure about (I guess...)

Dear friends, once again, thanks for your great comments and help. Not only have I decided, but I also made it official by submitting the paperwork - there's no turning back now.

So... (deep breath) I guess I will stick around for some more months.

The reactions? Well, my family is puzzled by this decision - it is so atypical for me not to rush into "safe" and "secure" things, that they are actually suspecting that I have been abducted by aliens and replaced by a weird clone! On the other hand, my co-workers are ecstatic by the fact that we will be sharing the work here. Last but not least, my former alter ego and future-I-have-no-clue-what is in Germany, ignorant about this whole situation.

And me? What about me?

I am scared $hitless, and just hope I haven't messed up big time.

But how did the impossible happened? How did I find the guts to turn down a 4-year job in the big city for 11 more months on an island that I almost didn't know that existed before I came here?

I thought this through, and found some great reasons to stay. First of all, I am not sure about the specialty I chose. I am not ready to abandon clinical medicine just yet. Don't get me wrong, there is no chance in hell that I will do anything else in Greece - from the little that I shared about the working conditions here, I guess you realise why I would never set foot in a Greek hospital (either as a doctor or as a patient!)

But I love travelling and exploring new places - and who knows? Maybe specialising abroad isn't as bad as I thought. As long as it is a decision I have made for myself, and not something that was forced upon me.

Also, I am still recovering from a break/breakup and a complete change of scenery and lifestyle. I am still learning to live alone, depending on myself only, and enjoying it. But I am not the "new me" just yet. Of course there are times when everything seems to be falling apart, and I am wondering if I have made any progress at all. I still have bad moments that could possibly lead to a meltdown. So I guess it's not time to move (again), meet new people (again), adapt to unknown working conditions (again) and settle down (actually for the first time in my life).

If I am gonna settle down, I wanna do it properly. I am only 24 years old, but I have already lived in 8 different towns. Me and my family are all about nomadic life, but if we were ever to stop moving, Athens would be the place where we would all be most likely to end up. So, I have the feeling that Athens will not be one more stop in my itinerary. It will most probably be my Ithaca.

If this is the case, I want the new me to go to Athens and start building a life. Not the post-breakup-still-discovering-the-world-like-an-infant me. Right now, I want to know things, see things, experience things. After all, the obligation of working at a village remains. It will just be postponed for when I will be 30. But seeking security at 24 and adventure at 30 seems kinda weird. I think it should be the other way around.

Lastly, things are pretty great here. The working hours are flexible, the money is good, and the people I will be sharing my practice with are amazing. The practice itself is more equipped than most, there is a nurse (added bonus!) and the place is admittedly the most beautiful village of the entire island of Lesvos. Every single day of this summer will feel like a vacation (ok, too optimistic here!) and, when autumn comes, I will officially be the "village doctor".

I just can't wait to meet the people, one by one. Learn their names, their age and much more than their pressure or glucose level. Learn their personal story. Wake up in the middle of the night to comfort their pain or worry over nothing (hopefully). Take part in the local festivals, and become acquainted with their traditions and way of life.

I realise that being an attending doctor at the age of 29 is cool. Actually, in a country where most 35 year olds are unemployed and still live with their parents, it is too great an achievement. It would make everyone in my family insanely proud.

But being an attending doctor at the age of 30 is just as cool. And when it comes with the added bonus that I will have become my own person in the process, it is more than that.

It is priceless.

And it would make me more than proud. It could actually make me happy.

Note to self: All the times in the future that you wet your pants, trying to figure out what to do in an emergency with minimal equipment and no one else to turn to, read this post. All the times that old ladies interrupt your bestest dream in the world just because they are "lonely" and "are not feeling very well", read this post. All the times that an amazing play is performed in Athens, while you are stuck in the middle of nowhere, learning how to milk sheep and pretending to be enjoying it, read this post. All the times you just want to get on a plane, fly to Germany, crash on a certain somebody's couch and cry like a baby, just read this post.

No, it won't make you feel any better. But at least you'll know who to blame for the whole thing...

The dilemma

Now that you know more about my job situation, it's time to present you with the awful dilemma that I am facing.

When I came here, I was supposed to work for a year, and then move to Athens, to start specialising as a pathologist. Unexpectedly, due to other people declining the Athens job, my turn has come! I am now expected to resign, and go there within this month.

If I fail to be present by the deadline I was given, I am immediately deleted from the waiting list. This sounds awful, doesn't it? But the thing is not as bad as it sounds. Actually, I can write my name again and wait until a new position is available. Due to the fact that residencies last for a specific amount of time and not even one day more, it is very easy and safe to estimate when the next employee will leave, thus leaving his place empty for me to fill. This is going to happen in July 2010.

On the other hand, if I take the job offer in Athens, I am still obliged to work as an agricultural doctor for a year, after I finish my residency (after 5 years). The bad thing is that I cannot avoid this. The good thing is that, 6 1/2 years after my graduation, I will have gathered plenty of points and I will be able to get whichever place in Greece I will choose!

So, what do I do? Stay here in Mytilene, in surroundings that have become familiar by now, do my agricultural obligation, earn some good money without too much effort and avoid moving again (this will be my 4th move within this year)? The Athens job will not be lost - it will just have to wait for another year.

Or move to Athens, ensure my financial security for the next 5 years and then, with plenty of points gathered, do my agricultural duty? After all, laws here change all the time, and it may not even be obligatory to do so by that time.

On one hand, we have Mytilene, its quiet way of life, the flexible working hours and the opportunity to postpone the binding decision of getting a specialty for a year. On the other hand, we have Athens, the security of having a job for 5 years, its hectic way of life, but also with possibilities that never end. Lastly, I should mention that my grandparents live in Athens. I will by no means live with them, but I guess they will be there for me if I need help in case of a possible breakdown (after all, I am still recovering from the winter events and the so called "break"/ actual breakup).

What would you do, my dear readers? Please help!

PS: There is one last thing I should mention. I wouldn't write about it at all, because I think that no serious job decision should be based on a "possibility". Facts are facts. However, if I am going to describe the whole situation to you, I should tell you that there is a chance of having something here in Mytilene, emotionally speaking. Things are quite unstable right now, and I am still adapting to the "single" life and getting over things - so one cannot possibly tell how I will react in case a harmless flirting becomes something more. I may not even be ready for this yet - let alone take it into account when deciding what to do! But for the sake of full disclosure, I thought I should mention it too.

Thanks for your insightful comments and helpful input - in advance.

What the heck should I do?

It has been a nice, relaxed Sunday so far, and I am now blogging while listening to Jason Mraz's amazing cd. The easy thing to do would be to write about random things, bitch about work, or show you some glimpses of Mytilene and the amazing places that I am discovering day by day. But the question remains, and something tells me I shouldn't avoid it any more - what the heck should I do?

But before I present you with the dilemma, I should first explain why I am in Mytilene and what brought me here.

It has been a hard winter for me, as you may have already realised here. Upon graduating, I wrote my name on the NOTORIOUS waiting list, in order to start a residency some day. That means that I have chosen a medical specialty, and for five years I will work in my hospital of choice as a trainee (or a slave - it depends on how you choose to see it!) . After that, I will be a licensed *whatever-ist* and I will be free to either open up my own practice, or continue to work as an attending doctor in a hospital (and torture other poor interns in turn!)

The specialty I chose was Pathology.

Now, my dear readers, I know this choice might come as a shock. After all, I may seem weird at times, but THAT weird? Well... to be honest... yes.

But how did I transform from this

to this?

Don't get me wrong, I actually love people. Alive and kicking, breathing, warm people, who have all their organs in place. But discovering what went wrong with some patients, first-hand, while treating them with the utmost respect and responsibility, also fascinates me. And this specialty doesn't have to do with the deceased only. Pathologists also get to examine biopsies (from suspicious masses, for example) and determine if they are malignant or benign, agressive or not, so that the fellow oncologists will know what course to follow. Unlike other specialties, which involve a lot of speculation, in Pathology, the truth is out there, in front of you. You just have to use your eyes and your hands to see it.

But my choice of specialty was not based on the subject only. First of all, there was minimal waiting time, in order to start - 1 1/2 year, while for Endocrinology, for example, 10 years were necessary. And while I may have Greek parents that are willing to support me for as long as it is necessary, I also know that I need to rely on myself at some point. Furthermore, as a Pathologist, I will have flexible working hours. And while work itself does not scare me, the thought of not having a family, because I will be too busy to be there for them, really gives me the creeps.

So... a Pathologist. Starting spring 2010. But until then, what?

Nothing - I thought as I was slowly sinking in misery. And suddenly, things started to look up. A job opportunity in Mytilene came, and I took it.

But what is this job?

Well, in Greece, there are hospitals in big towns, but in small villages, there are public practices, staffed with either already licensed general practitioners (the big ones), or medical graduates, known as "agricultural doctors" (in villages where less than 1,000 people reside). These practices are tiny, and not heavily equipped, but their doctors can meet basic needs - such as measuring blood pressure, or prescribing medicine, when people run out. If the patient's problem is too serious, he/she is immediately transferred to the hospital, of course. But for elderly people, living away from big urban centers and being unable to move easily, these doctors are actually a big help and relief.

Agricultural doctors are employed for a year (and then another comes), and basically you have to be extra lucky to get a place. You apply for two villages anywhere in Greece and then, for each place, whoever has the more "points" gets it. Points are determined according to waiting time after graduation - for every 2 months that pass after you have graduated, you get 1. As a result, students who are unemployed for the most time after graduating, have more points and then get the much-wanted place.

Me, only a few months after graduation, I had 4 points. They were ridiculously inadequate, so I had to make a wild guess - apply for a remote place, one that nobody would think of choosing. I thought of faraway Mytilene, and I was lucky: I got the place!

So I came here, knowing nothing about the island and way of life, and I am now training at the hospital for 3 months. After that, I will move to the village and be the "village's doctor"! Luckily, the island is beautiful, the people are amazing and most importantly, the place does not "hibernate" during the winter - with 90,000 people residing on it, things are pretty lively even in January.

But, as wise people say, when it rains, it pours. And just when I was getting settled and used to my new everyday life, I'll maybe have to leave again. This is the dilemma I am facing right now, and I need all the help I can get to decide.

After realising that this post is too long (as usual), I will write the specifics tomorrow. Until then, have a fun Sunday night and a wonderful Monday morning, everybody!

The vampire country

As many of you now, I am now living on the island of Mytilene, working (?) as a general practitioner. It is an exciting experience, and I will come back with photos of the beautiful island and my everyday life as soon as possible. But today's post is about how I ended up on this island of Northern Aegean Sea, just a few miles west of Turkey.

But before we start, here is a picture of Mytilene's port. There are many more amazing photos to show you, so be patient until my next posts.

And here is Mytilene on the map of Greece. For the record, I had been living on Crete before, which is the biggest island of Greece, located on its southernmost end.

I wouldn't be here, if I hadn't chosen to become a doctor. And I wouldn't have chosen to become a doctor, if I weren't completely nuts. And naive. And with no sense of self - preservation whatsoever.

When I was little, I used to watch ER on tv. I couldn't get enough of the brave, self sacrifising doctors, who managed to save lives and look extra cute at the same time! No matter the time, or the extreme circumstances, they fought to do good. The adrenaline was intoxicating, and the sense of accomplishment was hypnotizing.

Unfortunately for me, I relied too much on tv, and didn't have any doctors in my family to wake me up and introduce me to reality. So, while I was studying Ancient History, Ancient Greek, Latin and Literature, (and not having a clue in Math, Biology, Physics and Chemistry that are essential for Med School), I applied for the latter. It was more of a joke, actually. I was going to become a Literature teacher, like my parents, and didn't stand a single chance to be accepted. Well, wrong...

So, I entered Med school, wanting to learn new and exciting things, in order to help people and take away as much pain and suffering as possible. And then, I had to wake up.

Before I continue, it is important to explain a bit about universities in Greece. In my country, it is obligatory to attend school for 9 years (starting at the age of 6). You can then choose to go to a technical school and learn a craft, or continue to high school for another 3 years. At the age of 18, you take exams. These exams are the same for every Greek student. The subjects are the same, the questions are identical, and they all start at the same date and time. So basically, you compete with every other Greek student all over the country simultaneously. Once you get your grades, you are free to apply to any school you like. The school will accept a given number of candidates, depending on their grades only, from highest to lowest.

Example: If you apply for Med school and your University of choice admits 50 students per year, you have to be in the top 50 students that applied for the same position at the same time to be accepted. Even if you have done extraordinarily, you won't get accepted if 50 students did better than you. On the contrary, you may have had a few misses, but if everyone else did as well, it won't matter. As long as you are in the top 50 / 100 / 150, depending on the number of students the school accepts, you are ok. So having good grades alone doesn't matter. The whole idea is the competition - where others stand and where you stand. And it is a matter of supply and demand. Getting into a much wanted school is a whole lot more difficult than getting to one few people apply to.

Anyway, it is difficult to get into university (and it costs a lot of money, since all kids pay for private education in the afternoon along with public education that is offered for free at schools in the mornings). But once you get there, a different era begins. The era of enjoying yourself and simply doing nothing. Because university education is public in Greece - that means you don't pay a thing for your studies. There are no teaching fees and no book fees. Also, there is no limit to the years you can study. You can fail in the same course zillions of times, and it's ok. You can be 35 and still studying after 20 years - nobody tells you anything, and of course nobody throws you out of school. But what makes student life amazing, is the concept of "Greek parents".

You may have heard about this rare species, watched it on National Geographic documentaries, or laughed at it watching "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" on tv. Oh, "Greek parents" are strange creatures indeed, and they deserve a little analyzing. Their whole existence is based on the concept that children don't grow up. The years may pass by, but their babies remain babies. Like vampires or something, time does not touch them.

So, no matter if they are 10, 20 or 40, you still have to fuss about them eating their dinner, dressing in a certain way, and playing / going out / getting married to people you like and approve of. And of course, they never ever go away. In the most extreme circumstances, they may move to a house that is right next to their parents'. But even then, having a spare key and being able to come and go to your children's house as you please is a given.

Having this kind of parents may be a pain in the gluteus maximus, if you get my drift. It is suffocating and infuriating. But it has its benefits as well. One of which is the fact that Greek parents are adamant about their children going to university. To achieve this goal, no expense is too great and no effort is too big. And once their offspring get this much-wanted place, the proud parents continue to provide for them. And they never stop giving, unless their "kid" graduates and finds a job.

So, this attitude is the reason why the image of students selling lemonade as a part-time job in the summer seemed more strange to me, than Paris Hilton actually settling down. Greek parents don't ever get that. To them, a kid having to earn his pocket money by working would be insulting. It would mean that they themselves cannot provide for him. Don't get me wrong, I get the whole "being independent" and "learning how hard it is to earn your own money" idea. I actually applaud the concept. If more kids did that here, we would have less brats that couldn't stop being dependent on their parents. But that doesn't happen here often.

Still, not earning your own pocket money at 15 is not dramatic. But depending on your parents to pay for your cigarettes at 30 is pathetic. Because, as I told you earlier, parents don't stop giving until their "kid" graduates and finds a job. And let's face it - finding a job isn't easy nowadays. And the recent economic crisis is not the only reason for that. It is all a fault of the species of Greek parents, actually. Being so persistent about their kids going to university, they created a country where every kid has a university degree. The result? There are far too many unemployed doctors and lawyers here, while it is painfully difficult to find a plumber or an electrician!

And here comes the last and most important characteristic of Greek parents: Pride. They are immensely proud of their children. To them, they represent all that is good and right in this world. And, having worked so hard to get them to university, they refuse to see them getting a job that is "beneath them". So no, it is not ok to find any job in order to earn a living. You have to find a job that you "deserve". Until then, "you have your family to turn to"!

So, in this vampire country I live, kids don't ever grow up. They live with their parents instead, bargaining for more pocket money at 35, having their mother wash their underwear and cook their favourite dinner. Waiting for the "right" job to come, hoping to get their own place some time - as long as it is close to their parents' house, of course. In the end, getting married to "appropriate" people and giving birth to "extraordinary" children. And this vicious circle continues...

I started this post wanting to tell you about how and why I got into university. I talked about all Greek students instead. As much as this got out of hand, I think this is even better. And while it may seem I detest my country, I actually love it very much. Because only if you really love something or someone, you can accept it with all its flaws and weaknesses.

And to be fair, the species of Greek parents is an amazing species by all means. It is one that never ever lets you down, and always looks out for you - no matter what. It is a species that always makes you a priority, and sacrifises itself for you without a second thought. It is a species we all love and respect. Do you want proof for that?

In Greece, kids selling lemonade is an unknown concept. But old parents staying in nursery homes is an unknown concept as well... :)

PS: I would love to hear your comments and also your own experiences from your own country / community / family.

Better late than never...

So I arrived in Mytilene, and the first days have been stressful, exciting, and full of discoveries. I won't actually work until Monday, so I am waiting until then to post about my first experiences here.

I have some catching up to do on your adventures, and it has been fun getting "in touch" with you again. Also, a while ago I received two awards, and I would like to write a little about them. I know it is late, but I hope it's not too late...

This is the first one, and I received it from Tatoos and Teething rings and 5th sister. Thank you, guys! It is a personality award, and now I have to list 7 things that characterise me - so here goes...

1) Pessimistic: I always think about the worst case scenario that could take place. Even when I am happy, I keep wondering when the next catastrophe will hit me hard. For me, this doesn't always prove to be bad, because, expecting the worst, I am more often pleasantly surprised than not. But for my loved ones, it is sometimes a torture to be around me, and listen to my negative remarks.

2) Stressed: About everything and all the time. Everybody around me hoped that this would get better as I grew up and took on more responsibilities, but nope - I am still nervous, only about more serious things now. :(

3) Perfectionist: More like a typical patient suffering from ocd, actually. Everything has to be "one way" and not another, and until it is, it is "failing". I loose my sleep or my (very little) serenity over a book that is not in the "right" position, or over a small detail that nobody really cares about. I struggle to change that, though. I try to overlook the little things that bother me with their non - perfectness. After all, nobody and nothing in life is perfect, and I have to accept that and live with it.

4) Sensitive: I observe little things around me that almost nobody does, and they can have a huge impact on my mood and attitude. A tiny gesture, a single word in a huge conversation, a thoughtless remark uttered subconsciously can make me replay the whole scene in my mind for hours, and try to think of the different interpretations. Also, I am sensitive to other creature's hardships, whether it is an old lady trying to cross the road, a kid hurting his knees playing football, or a stray cat struggling to find food in the garbage.

5) Fair: I try to look things from different perspectives, and I am not too quick to judge people. Also, I try to be objective when thinking about my own actions, and I am anything but soft on myself.

6) Honest: Both in the way that I am sincere on most occasions, but also in the "integrity" department. I hate cheating and breaking the rules.

7) The queen of mood swings: This one goes along with the "sensitive" thing. While everything seems to be perfect, I may burst into tears (having noticed something that nobody else did), or may start laughing hysterically at a totally inappropriate time. My mood can change with the speed of light, and that may surprise or even make the people who barely know me tag me as "weird" and shun me. Those who choose to overlook this thing and try to cope with it have to be armed with a lot of patience and not take everything I do or say for granted - after all, who knows what the next minute will bring?

I observe now that most of the things that characterise me are negative, and that I sound like a horrible, terrible person. I don't know... I am not that bad! But pointing the things that go wrong is always easier than emphasizing on your strong points.

And now the nominees for this award:

1) Debbie from "Suburb Sanity" for her amazing sense of humour, her honesty and her ability to turn everyday catastrophes into cherished experiences.

2) 5th sister for her hard-earned wisdom and her compassion.

3) Honeypiehorse from "Our feet are the same" for her wittiness and decisiveness.

4) LB from "Muddy Runner" for his motivation and persistence to his goals.

5) Kristina from "Pulsipher Predilections" for the fact that reading her blog makes my day.

6) Raoulysgirl from "Who has the thyme?" for her eagerness to discuss different points of view.

7) Pam from "Pam fried family life" for her ability to juggle everything and still be sane.

This is the second award, the "Passionate blogger one" (thanks, Lisaloo!). So, 5 things I am passionate about:

1) Preserving life: Having seen what I have seen, I have come to greatly appreciate the gift of life. So, this is the number one priority for me in life, and it extends to many different topics. From being against abortion, to doing my best to help patients, and to avoid killing stuff, even if this is a disgusting insect that drives me crazy. It also explains my many attempts to become vegetarian (I have not succeeded yet, but I am still hoping).

2) People I love: I am not one to love easily, but when I do, I go to great lengths for these people.

3) Books: I love reading and writing. It makes me travel to faraway places, and discover new emotions and ways of thinking.

4) Food: I am always eager to try new things, regardless of their "weirdness" and unfamiliarity. I take great pleasure in cooking, and also enjoying good food with people I love.

5) The mighty trifecta: Sun, sea and a blue sky, that is. This explains why I love my country so much (and also every country with a similar climate). Cloudy weather always makes me feel blue, and summer doesn't come for me, until I get to spend some days in our beautiful Greek islands.

And now the nominees:

1) Donna from "My tasty treasures", because she puts the term "passionate" into a whole new perspective!

2) Willoughby from "This stop Willoughby", for her creative projects.

3) Katie from "Katie's corner" for her love of dogs.

4) Kristina for her passion (or should I say obsession? LOL) for Snuggies.

5) And finally, ♫ Spasm ♫ from "Got org?" for being a time management goddess.

That's all for now. Have an amazing weekend, everybody!

Change - is it good or very good?

It has been such a long time, that I have almost lost the ability to post. I am surprised and touched that some people still remember me. I haven't forgotten about you, guys, either. I was just overwhelmed by the many changes happening in my life. I was forced to move suddenly, and went to a place with no internet connection! I am now writing from a net cafe, and it won't be until next week that I will have my own connection, and be able to catch up on your blogs, read about what you all have been up to, and comment on your adventures!

As for myself, I would expect this last one month and a half to be painfully difficult. Looking back now, it was surprisingly refreshing and taught me a lot of things. I am thrilled to report that I feel much better now.

The last months following my graduation from Med school in November, I was slowly sinking in depression. I didn't realise how it happened. Suddenly, I was unemployed, with most of my friends moving back to their hometowns, and I ended up shut in my house, alone, totally dependent on the net and more than eager to unwind my tension and frustration onto my boyfriend. He was unemployed too, and it wasn't easy for him either.

We went to Med school expecting to have to work and study our asses off, but for a reason: To graduate and have a shot at doing good, and achieving something great. Instead, because of the unemployment situation in Greece nowadays, we were ordered to write our name on a list, and wait for a residency program to open up... wait... and wait... for years, for an indefinite amount of time, watching time pass by and slowly forgetting all the things we learnt.

And while my boyfriend was strong enough to say "I've had it! I will look for a residency abroad! I don't deserve this humiliation!", I was too disappointed and depressed to think of the situation the same way. As a result, months of "Let's go!" - "I am not going!" followed, and the result was the expected one: The tension wore our relationship out.

And then, 2 months ago, an opportunity came up for my boyfriend, in Cologne, Germany. He was excited about it, but I couldn't be more negative. At that point, I was an emotional wreck, and moving around the house was difficult for me, let alone move abroad! Meanwhile, his parents (I have mentioned the fact that our relationship couldn't be worse in older posts) saw this position abroad as the perfect opportunity for us to break up. After all, I didn't speak German, I couldn't find a job there, so why would I want to go? After months of following a passive-aggressive tactic, they became openly offensive towards me, and started expressing threats and ultimatums ("Either you go alone, or we won't provide you with money for the trip, or accomodation" and "The moment she comes to Germany, forget you even have parents!")

Finally, my boyfriend and I agreed that he should go alone at first. There was no need for me to move my negativity and misery abroad. These were too heavy for me to carry. I had to get rid of them first, in order to start my new life properly. So I gave up my student apartment, and moved to my parents' house (they live abroad now too). I did a lot of thinking, I learnt to depend on myself again, and started driving lessons. I know I am ridiculously old for that, but driving has always been one of my greatest fears, and a chore I avoided doing.

And luck is finally on my side. I am amazed to report that I FOUND A JOB! A real, medical job - that of a general practitioner at Mytilene, a Greek island! And because good things usually happen all together, there is GREAT possibility that a residency program will open up for me soon!

I still love my boyfriend, of course. And he loves me too. We are in touch every day, (I even visited him last week in Cologne) and things between us are much, much better. He is very proud of himself, earning a living for the first time in his life and honestly, I need to do the same. I need to be able to depend on myself, and not somebody else. I can't say that I have completely managed to get the "new me" out there, but I am trying hard.

For a full year (that's how long my job on the island lasts) we will be apart. But I am not afraid. I will remember what being a doctor feels like, I will finally learn German and, after that, knowing the language and having a full year of experience as added qualification, I will pursue a job in Germany. If us being together is meant to be, it will happen.

But I learnt not to think of the distant future too much. I have today to take care of, and it is enough work for me. Ok, maybe I can plan 2 days ahead... after all, that is the day of my driving exam!

So, that's what I had been up to these past weeks. Thank you all for being there for me. As soon as I get an internet connection, I will be taking a peek at your lives and experiences too. Until then, I will be thinking of you and hoping you are all well.

PS: By the way, thank you for your awards! I have to think of my nominees too - I will get to it as soon as possible!

Closed for vacation (I wish!)

I would like to apologise for the fact that my blog lately has been looking like this:

The truth is that many things have been happening to me over the last days, but not the kind you could easily write on a blog. I am in a dark place now emotionally, and I wouldn't like to write stuff I may regret later, or stuff that I haven't sorted out. Not yet.

Until then, I will continue to stalk on you, my blog buddies, and comment on your posts. They make my day, and drastically contribute to my sanity. I don't pray, but at times like this I wish I did. If you can, send me your positive thoughts and vibes - it will make a huge difference.

I have never been an optimistic person, more like a drama queen who always thinks that the glass is half-empty. But right now I keep whispering to myself all the positive energy/optimism mantras I can think of - I just hope they help.

Challenge: Dirty cooking secrets

Ok blog buddies, most of you cook. It doesn't matter how often, or how well. In fact, it is ok if you have cooked only a few times in your entire life, or if your cooking triumphs pale in comparison to your cooking tragedies. The topic of this post is irrelevant to these facts.

My real question is: What are your dirty cooking secrets? Those particular techniques that are unorthodox and not recommended, but you follow them anyway? Things that, if you were cooking live with Jamie Oliver or Rachel Ray, you would be embarassed to admit and show the audience?

If you want, you can post some in your blog. We promise not to judge you or report you to the culinary arts police. Unless your improvisations have caused severe food poisoning and could be considered as attempted murder in a court of law, of course... (Just joking!) My own confessions are:

1. I rarely sift my flour and dry ingredients in general when making dessets. Ok, lie detector, you caught me! Actually, I NEVER sift them!

2. I always substitute baking soda with baking powder, even if only the opposite is "allowed". Oddly enough, I have never encountered a "disgusting and bitter baking powder chunk" in my desserts.

3. I never wear gloves when cooking. Actually, I am a freak, and my choice of profession suggests it! I like touching dead stuff (ie meat). But yes, I wash my hands thoroughly. I guess my choice of profession suggests that as well.

4. I don't use shortening. Actually, I don't know what "shortening" is. My knowledge of English doesn't expand to this particular term. Seriously. And as I am too lazy to look it up on a dictionary, over the years, I have come to the conclusion that shortening = butter. What? Shortening is NOT butter exactly? Oh, well, I am too old to change my ways now...

5. I am a student, living on a budget and moving frequently. So, both my income and my lifestyle don't allow me to buy fancy cooking equipment. As a result, I cook using basic stuff only - and I highlighted the word "basic" here. Which would explain why, if I appeared on a show with Jamie, I would look at objects like a garlic press / a springform pan / a crockpot / a rice cooker / a pizza slicer, etc with the same amazement Colombus had when he reached the American continent!

6. Not embarassing enough? Ok, how about this: I don't know how to use a microwave. And of course I don't own a freezer. It's a vicious circle, guys.

7. I love baking, and my friends tell me I have a hand for it. However, I only loosely follow the FRoB (First Rule of Baking) which, as we all know, is: "Thou shalt ALWAYS measure your ingredients". Well, I do measure them. I really, trully do. Only I lack some unnecessary things called "measuring cup" and "measuring spoons"! But hey, at least I always use the same cup to measure when baking something. Unless it needs washing, of course - then I just use another! Duh!

8. I don't know how to de-gut a fish. You know, take all the inside parts of the fish out and make it ready-to-use for cooking. To those who don't really know me, I apologise for it, saying that I think it is plain disgusting. They seem to be ok with it, and show some sympathy. However, Ernesto doesn't. The problem is that he knows me a little too well, and says that I actually thrive on disgusting stuff. So, he seems to imply that I am just to lazy to learn, and pass this chore onto him. My reply? Well... No comment!

9. The most embarassing moment in my cooking history was when I made a mean fruit tart. Actually, you might now it as White chocolate fruit tart on AR, and it was good beyond description. In fact, it was so good, that when Ernesto dropped the last piece on the floor, he didn't hesitate for a moment - he just picked it up and continued eating it!!! (Picture Joey from "Friends", in the scene where a cheesecake piece is lying on the floor. The same cheesecake piece, over which Rachel and Chandler had been fighting for the whole episode. He just comes in, sees them nibble off the floor, takes a fork out of his jacket and drops the killer line "What are we having???!!!)

Um, wait... that's not an embarassing moment for me, but for Ernesto! Oh well... now that it's out there, it's really hard to take it back! (To his defense, I am a hypochondriac, who cleans the floors 12396 times a day - but I know, it's still yuck!)

I know it would have been much better to write 10 things instead of 9. If I had done so, my list would be more "proper" and "decent". But now that I've come to thing about it, there isn't one single thing in this particular list that it's decent anyway... so I'll just leave it the way it is.

That's all folks! Your turn now! Share if you dare!

PS: If you want a cool signature too, you can go here and create your own!

Another award (and some confessions)...

Good morning, friends! To my amazement, I received another award, from Raoulysgirl, from "Who has the Thyme?" yesterday - an honest blogging award this time. Thank you so much, girl.

My 7 nominess for the same award, are:

1. Raoulysgirl from Who has the thyme. I am not sure if this is allowed, but it couldn't be any other way. I admire her for the fact that she is not afraid to express her beliefs, no matter how they may sound, or how people will respond. I appreciate her honesty very much, she always gives me food for thought, and I agree with her more and more as time passes.
2. Thames from Yesterday's tomorrow, for the most sincere and encouraging post about difficult decisions and changes (amongst other things).
3. 5th, from the 5th sister, for her moving post about an important anniversary of her life. Again, this is not the only reason I chose her, but it is the first one that comes to mind.
4. LB from Muddy Runner, because I admire his devotion to his running aims, and he is always truthful about what he accomplishes. He is an inspiration for eating better and getting more fit, one day at a time.
5. Katie, from Katie's corner, because she made me be "less" of a doctor and more of a person for once. Being open about her condition and how she is feeling, I managed to see things from her side and perspective, and it was an eye-opener for me. I truly hope you feel better by now, Katie.
6. Tattoos from Tattoos and teething rings, for the most original and amazing love stories I have ever read (her grandparents').
7. Willoughby from This stop Willoughby, simply because I love to read her blog (I check it several times a day) and I couldn't think of anyone more worthy of this award.
   

Thanks again, friends, for the wonderful time I have reading, writing, commenting, and sharing moments with all of you.

If you want to give the same award, follow these instructions:

• Choose a minimum of 7 blogs that you find brilliant in content or design.
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• List at least 10 honest things about yourself.

And some confessions:

1. Today I discovered that I need to loose 18 pounds. I have never been overweight in my life. I was always of average weight, and still am. But the last months of my life, having graduated and not working yet, trying 3 new dessert recipes from AR per week and getting no exercise whatsoever, have changed my figure somehow. It hasn't been a dramatic change, (switched clothes size, from sometimes S and sometimes M [depending on the clothes] to always M), but this has to stop now. I need to change it, before it is too late to change. The good thing is that I like eating healthy - I just need to cut down the desserts and get some activity. Wish me luck!


2. I am at that point in my life when I have to make some hard decisions. The unemployment situation in Greece is tragic, and my fiance is more than eager to move to Germany (his mother's home country) to get a job there. I am scared to death of that. I don't have any problem with moving, it is just that I don't speak any German. As a result, I will need some time to adjust, learn the language, and THEN get a doctor's position. Ernesto says that, even if you take the language barrier in mind, I will STILL have a job earlier than I would have here. It makes sense, but it still is a great change in my life, and just thinking about it makes me kind of queesy.


3. I have the worst relationship possible with my future-in laws (especially my FIL). Things were bad right from the beginning, and although over the last 7 years there have been many efforts to change that, it just can't be. I am hurt with the situation and feel that they have not been fair to me at all. However, Ernesto says that he doesn't mind, he knows I am right, and that I just have to accept things the way they are and try not to think about it. I guess it is easier saying so, than doing so.


4. I can become quite addicted to certain video games (my personal record is playing Sims for 18 hours non-stop). It just felt so wrong to lose valuable time over a screen, and I quit it. I now have an AR addiction, of course, but it is much, much more controlled.


5. I wear contact lenses (and glasses when I am at home). My eyesight was poor (7 / 10) at high school, but I didn't want to wear glasses and my parents wouldn't allow lenses. As a result, I was missing most of the details of the outside world when going out. The funniest moment was when I accidently hitch-hiked a truck, because I mistaked it for the bus, and waved at the driver to stop! So humiliating! I learnt to cope with it, though - but when I first put the lenses on, it was a totally different world out there!


6. I also wore braces at primary school and high school (for 6 whole years). It was an awful experience. The moment the orthodontist removed them, I never set foot in his office again - not for follow up, nothing.


7. When my younger sister and I were small, we had different rooms, and it was obligatory to stay in and have a nap after lunch. Neither of us could sleep, so I would jump out of my window and climb on hers, and get in her room to play (of course, as silently as we could - shhh!). This is something we always remind one another when we meet.


8. As a kid, my sister was chubby, while I was skinny. This was a strange thing, since I ate most of her food when our parents weren't watching! She ate very little, and then always tried to pass it on to me.


9. This is the first of the 10 days I will have to spend alone (Ernesto is in Germany, having job interviews) and I wonder if I will miss him terribly, be bored to death, or feel kind of relieved to have a little "alone time". I guess it will be all 3 at the same time.


10. I have to clean the house now, and I am sooooo bored - but I know I won't feel at ease unless I finally do it.

Well, that's it for now, guys. I hope it wasn't too much information for you! See you later!